Saturday, January 05, 2013

Life in the Fast Lane....

In Texas, it takes forever for cremations.  First, all known children by blood must sign and agree that cremation is ok.  And it can't be done within the first 48 hours either.

Once that paperwork is complete, the city requires a permit.  And that takes forever.  After that all it takes is scheduling a time for the cremation.  Of course one would tend to assume that since the funeral home owns the crematorium that it wouldn't be a problem.  I mean, it is a known fact that deaths occur 24 x7 right?   So almost 2 weeks after the permit, and dozens of calls, the cremation is scheduled.  And I can pick Dad up in his little urn on New Years Day.

Starting out the New Year in proper form, a friend and I went to Fred's Texas Cafe in Ft Worth for the best on the earth cheeseburger and fries.  And, even Diners, Drive-ins and Dives has been there (They left their brand on the wall above the bar). Ok OK, it's a minor diversion from the story......

Afterwards, I go by the funeral home and wait.  And wait.  And wait some more and played games on my iPhone.  At first, they didn't want to give me the urn because the paperwork indicated all four of us had to be present to receive the remains.  I almost came unglued.  Boy, I tell you, in Texas, I'm surprised there are any cremations at all.  I finally got him though after proving who I was.  I'm the executor of his will as well, but I can't spell the female version.  So Dad is placed in a box with styrofoam peanuts, they take him out to the care, put the box in the back seat and off we go.

Now there is construction all over the place.  I can see 75 to the west about a mile away and decide to go home on 75 instead of the slower streets because I've been gone most of the day and I know the kitties are getting anxious.  I swear, I follow all the signs that say 75 and somehow, after a few curves and hills, I come out on 75 alright.  But in the HOV lane.

Now these HOV lanes are the kind with the concrete barrier on the left and the wobbly cane things on the right (spaced about 6" apart).  Ok.  Fine.  So this lane is suffering from lack of cleaning and many of the cane things are in the middle of the lane - not like you go anywhere but straight.  which I did at the speed limit knowing that if someone came up behind me, they'd be honking because most go closer to 80 in the HOV lane on 75.

Now, after destressing from finding I'm on the HOV lane - thank heavens it was a holiday- I realize I will be stopped because there's only me in the car.  So now I'm really stressing out.  Then out of nowhere, the weight lifted off my shoulders and I realized when asked why I was in the HOV lane by myself, I would be able to say without lying "but my Dad is in the back seat".

I then started giggling and giggled all the way home.

Oh, in case you think this is too gross, well, it is life.  And Dad would be laughing right along us.

We will have a grave-side service later when it is warm.  Yes, that is prolonging the death period but Dad and I both hate being cold.  


1 comment:

  1. When my mom passed away in 2010 she was cremated and picked up in 3 days. But here in Illinois - well - doesn't seem like we have the laws for things we should - and have too many laws for things we shouldn't. That was in November and at Christmas I bought a mini stocking with an M on it for Mom, put a dark chocolate candy bar in it (her favorite) and put the urn out in the living room so Mom could be involved. :) Everybody deals with these kinds of things their own way and I have no doubt your dad really was with you in that lane. And not just in the back seat.

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