Here in Texas

I can't believe I haven't written about the Smith Retirement Farm LOL. My brother and sister-in-law bought some acreage in East Texas. It's deep in the middle of dairy cow country. They took me out to see it right before they bought it. So when they told me that they were going on Friday to sign the final papers, I had to act quick, go flamingo hunting and prepare. I had to really hunt to find any flamingos too. So I leave the house around 5:30 as I wanted to be at the property at day break because I knew they'd want to get out really early for a first day at their property. Also, I have a big red XUV and didn't want them to see me. I had my escape route all picked out.

It was a nice drive and the sun came up about 10 minutes away from where I needed to be. It was beautiful and so calm. I forgot how a sunrise can be such a beautiful thing. It was also much colder out there. And no, I didn't think about that so I didn't think to bring a coat. This is October in Texas too so it can be freezing one minute and burning hot the next .... oh wait, that is all fall/winter/spring.

I get to their street and have to drive really really slow. It was paved many many many years ago and I didn't want any rock dings on my XUV. I finally reach my goal - there's the gate..... only there are 3 hugh (yes even by my Texas everything is larger here standards), and I mean huge dogs, wolves, or cayotes (all are in the area). So I sit in the XUV until they finally get bored and go away. So I can finally collect all the flamingos and other stuff. I struggle to crawl under the gate without losing any of the flamingo legs and was fairly successful. As I walk down the dirt road and hear some strange noices (to be truthful, any noise at this point to a city kid is frightning) it suddenly occurs to me, that I'm out in the middle of nowhere, by myself, the cellphone won't work, and this is East Texas where they shoot first and ask questions later. I start running further into the property... well I made it this far and might as well finish... and get to the cross roads. Now bear in mind that the term road is made loosely here. So I'm putting up the flamingos (there were 6), a wind chime (you try putting up a wind chime when you are short, the trees are tall and the dirt road isn't packed), and a woodpecker. I took pictures but didn't think about there being so many trees that it would be hard to get a good picture. I looked at the time and ran out of there. I really did not want to get caught. So giggling away, I hop in the XUV and take off. Again, the road is so rough the speedy trip was about 10 miles an hour. And of course, I run into 2 women walkers - but at least they just smile and wave - and I was thankful they didn't have a gun or rifle. So when I finally make it to a real road, man, do I take off. It's getting late and I am so afraid they will see me. I finally get past where they will see the XUV and slow down and giggle some more. I get on the highway - I was so glad to get back to civilization too. I stopped in the nearby city at my favorite store Wal*Mart, picked up some cd's and went on my merry way back home.

Well by then, Lowe's and Home Depot were open so I made some garden stops. And I'm so disappointed because I'm not getting any cell calls from my brother and sister-in-law. I finally make my way back home. When I go out later that day for dinner, I had a hard time getting the car to start. So I decided to go to a drive-through and when I came back home, I backed into the garage - just in case. My belief is that when you are prepared, nothing happens...right? Wrong. So the next morning I get up and mess around and finally decide to go get some breakfast..... only the car won't start. So I called up my brother and left a message. I should've known they were back out in the country. So he calls me back around 2pm as they are getting to Greenville to see what's going on. I asked him to come get me so we can go to Sam's and get a new battery. He never says a word about the flamingos. I really don't think he believed me until they got here and saw the car backed in the garage. So of course, he has to hassle me about what would've have happened if this had happened out in the country where CELL PHONES DON'T WORK (I forgot about that but would've used OnStar or waited until they got there). Anyway, they were impressed that I remembered how to get there. That was so much fun! and I have a new battery too.